Respect a Working Mother!

This just about sums up my thoughts!!! (see below post - Easy Targets?)

Easy targets?

I was lying in bed at 4.15am this morning seething... my daughter was wide awake next to me telling me she wanted milk and to watch Peppa Pig. My husband had hot footed it to the sofa to avoid being kicked in the back by aforementioned wide awake daughter... In the process of the stress of being woken so early, I had tipped a glass of water over the bedside table nearly electrocuting myself and my family with the baby monitor. What a way to start the sabbath.... I haven't slept since. My eyes are squinting and it's only 10am. I lay in bed procrastinating and analysing my life, my role as a mother, my struggles and my victories. It's a regular discussion I have with myself and to be honest I do enjoy them, but not at such an ungodly hour.

I used to look at motherhood through rose tinted spectacles... I imagined life would remain pretty much the same as it always had been. Having a nice Sunday lunch out in a pub or restaurant, breastfeeding under a pashmina, shopping for myself and baby at our leisure.. It's not like that though is it? And the more I thought about it, the more I felt sort of, taken advantage of as a mother... Suddenly I am expected to be 100% domesticated, 100% dependent, 100% grateful for anything else that I get out of the ordinary, 100% thankful that my life now is dominated by a baby... and don't get me wrong - I am SO grateful and I love my daughter, my husband, my life... But I'm not ready to throw in the towel yet. There are still things I want to achieve. My brain hasn't packed up yet (debatable). Not to mention the credit crunch - how mothers can depend 100% on their husbands and partners for financial support in times like this, I cannot fathom - the pressure must be immense.

Recently I have started a new job working from home which I am passionate about and really enjoy. All the employees in my position are mothers and we all work from home - although we are in constant touch on social networking sites, Skype and email. The terms of our employment has recently come under scrutiny and it transpires that the position will not be an employed one... This has shocked us all since we have shown loyalty, commitment and devotion to this new venture. It has changed everything. We now feel somewhat abused and taken advantage of as mothers... we feel as though they (the company) deem us as a desperate workforce who would be grateful for any morsels of work we would be lucky enough to find. Apparently they cannot afford to take us on as employed with the associated costs involved, but it feels as though our commitment to them is not reciprocated and we feel hideously let down.

Personally I feel as though I'm in a catch 22 situation - I am not prepared to go out to work and pay extortionate childcare costs in order to bring home a pittance; but I also respect myself enough to want to challenge myself and I want to have a proper job which I can do at home. With modern technology I'm surprised more people don't work from home. So I feel a bit as though this company has got me where they want me - too scared to turn my back on the potential of a good job and good prospects and half decent money (for a part time, stay at home mother.. ha ha); too scared to confront them about it and fight my corner to be employed in case they get pissed off and tell me to do just that.

So I suppose I revert to form, and probably the form of most mothers - I will put up, and shut up!

When did you last read a good book?

This post has been inspired by another post in another blog, of which I am a fan and avid reader - http://badmuthablogger.com/. She tells of how she used to read books - you know, novels, romances, mysteries, Harry Potter.... they've got pages and sometimes pictures. And you can escape and lose yourself in wonderful stories. I used to read a lot too... but since having my little girl I have read ONE BOOK. Yes one. It was an excellent book though. A Thousand Splendid Suns. I highly recommend it. But since then I haven't had the time or energy to even pick up and read the back cover of a book.... I read and research for work. I read bank statements and letters from the council office telling me they haven't received my latest cheque; I read to my daughter and I seem to read food labels... but I don't read books anymore. I'm going to put it on my New Years Resolutions list - Read more books. One a month. Where will the time come from?!

Pah! PA?

I've just read an astonishing article - well I found it astonishing. I think most every day mothers would feel the same. Admittedly the article was in The Times, which probably appeals to a higher form of human being to me, but even if it had been in the News of the World I would still have been open-mouthed.

Apparently mothers now have the option to employ a PA to do the jobs they can't fit into their busy lives. From Christmas shopping, to organising childrens' parties, these PAs can seemingly do anything, and work any hours you instruct them. Well wouldn't that be lovely, if you can afford one! How many mothers in this day and age, particularly with the credit cruch, can afford to pay for this 'extra pair of hands'? Not me. I am my husband's PA, my daughter's PA, my own PA for that matter, and still I have to find time for my own work and ordinary day to day housewifing and mothering duties. You have to be organised and find the time - even if that means staying up til' Midnight (and looking rough in the mornings). I can only imagine that these mothers who can afford a PA are out enjoying champagne lunches while the tasks they consider too mundane are undertaken by a perfect stranger. Or am I a cynic? Tell me if you think so.

Do they consider themselves above the normal, run of the mill parenting duties? Or are they so disorganised, or over-achieving that they simply need the added help? Either way it proves that there is far too much pressure on mothers to look gorgeous, have gorgeous, well behaved children, hold down a job, look after a household, have a perfect marriage, and fit in time for a social life too.

Angelina's answer

Apparently Angelina Jolie has decided to fade from the public eye and movie stardom in favour of being a full time, stay at home mother. Good on her I say. But I wonder why it's taken her so long to make the move? I am not a fan of these celebrity mothers who are back to a sickly size zero straight after giving birth; or those who are running half marathons two weeks after having a C Section. In my view they should be at home with their newborns, bonding with them, getting to know their quirks, nursing them and letting their babies learn all about their mothers and surroundings. Those first few months and years are so important.

So why has it taken Angelina so long to succumb to the charms of being a stay at home mother? Surely not financial pressure. It must be the love of movie making. Or perhaps just because she has the luxury to choose a career over parenthood. What do you think? And do you really think that she will be the full time mother cliche? Cooking, cleaning, doing school runs etc? Looking slightly harrassed in her pyjamas at the school gates at 9am?! I can't quite see it myself, but credit where credit is due - she obviously loves being a mother.

Am I bad?

I was at my local toddler group last week - it's a mainstay of the week's timetable and I love it as much as my daughter. It's a chance for all the village mums to get together and gossip about who is pregnant, who's just had a baby, who's child has got chicken pox, who's child minder has just quit etc. It makes you realise that each and every mother has different issues to deal with on a daily basis. When it comes to childcare issues I count myself so fortunate that I don't have to:

a) pay for childcare
b) depend on it in order to go out to work
c) have to go through the morning and afternoon nightmare of racing to drop kids, collect kids etc.

Do any other mums at home feel the same? I realise that it's an essential part of motherhood for some, if not most mothers, but I couldn't do it. I am blessed to have skills which enable me to work from home. Although I seem to be working and mothering all at once, not to mention being a housewife.... chef... cleaner... maid... chauffer... teacher... entertainer...any others? I love it and wouldn't have it any other way now. Selfishly I like knowing that the money I earn stays in my pocket, and doesn't go straight out into paying for childcare.

However back to toddler group - our lovely lady who runs it also is my daughter's 'teacher' at nursery and she informed me that they would be moving her down to the pre school in January. This is quite early as they usually take them from two and a half or two years, nine months - my daughter was only two in August. I COULD HARDLY SUPRESS MY ELATION!!!!! The thought of three whole clear hours at home twice a week is a GIFT! Does it make me a bad, careless mother to feel this way? I don't feel as though I'm turfing the little maid out of the house, unloved and unwanted. I know she will relish in the time spent with her little friends - and to be honest a 9am-12pm slot at pre school is far more convenient than the 1.30-3.15pm I already take her to.

As a working from home mother, these mornings could add up to some really valuable and precious, uninterrupted work time... although I will have to live one dream first - I'm taking my laptop to the local deli/coffee shop, I'm going to order a large coffee and eggs benedict and abuse the wifi. For work purposes only. Honest.

My working from home life..

I am a full time, 'stay at home' mummy, and I also work from home. Supposedly part time - but as I mother full time, I'd say I work pretty much from dusk til dawn - try telling that to my husband!! These two pictures struck me as funny...


This is what I aspire to be:



























































But this is what I really am!!! (note the wine!!)

Goosebumps..

Some things really get to you don't they? In a good way I mean. Yesterday I was laid up on the sofa with a miserable cold so I did the usual indulgence of watching Strictly and X Factor. I'm not a huge fan of X Factor but I did watch the series when Leona won it. She is truly amazing. Her performance last night has really stuck in my head. Some things really get to you and make you cry... this is one such thing for me.

A womans work is never done

Do you ever feel like you're just chasing your tail day in day out. Some weeks should never start... I hate not getting anything done in they day in the knowledge that tomorrow I'll have twice as much to do. While I'm writing this, I'm looking at an unabating mountain of ironing - small ironing, in that it's my 2 year old's wardrobe that needs the Morphy Richards treatment. Nothing more ghastly than ironing minute dresses! Maybe I sound totally anal, but I like my life to be organised and to run smoothly. I'm not good with stress. I'm a typical Libran.

Short and sweet today - got to dash to collect little one from nursery, race to the post office before closing and get some supper before himself returns home from a cold, wet hard day at work.

Wet and windy weekend

Well what a washout. What do you do when you're tired, got a hyper active 2 year old at home, and it's pouring with rain and blowing a hooley? It's been one of those weekends. We are blessed to have a large sitting room and so we made an exciting indoor play den with bean bags, cushions, duvets etc. It was hilarious actually. I wasn't feeling very well - tired and feeling quite queasy so I just chilled on the sofa - I managed to watch Harry Potter, Daylight and Midsomer Murders back to back. Must be a record. I dont' think I've watched that much TV since giving birth! Indulgent as it was, I loved it! And feel much better today.

I'm still nervous about my Treasurer position for a number of reasons. I'll go into it at a later date. I seem to have a lot on my hands at the moment and no let up during the day, and usually so tired in the evenings... plus I try to keep my evenings to be with my husband and have some together time. If we don't spend time together we drift apart so it's important to work hard at the marriage too. It's hard to keep things in balance and I always strive to try and keep everything on an even keel, but it's a constant struggle.

Got lots to look forward to though - going hunting (apologies to you who may be anti, but we only follow a trail) next Saturday. Hoping to see Bond tomorrow night - my belated birthday treat from James... I wonder if it'll happen!? Ever the pessimist! I might treat myself to an eyelash tint this week too - I look like an albino. Hideous.

Me and my big mouth

As you may know, it was the local pre school committee meeting last night. I finally rolled home at 10.20pm, shattered, brain numb and also quite concerned. One of the first points on the agenda was that our Treasurer had decided to call it a day. So I, trying to have a voice in the meeting, asked, "Who's going to take over from her?". Eight pairs of eyes all on me.... "You asked the question", they all all chorus. Oh help. I'm the new treasurer. It's like a life sentence. I barely passed Maths GCSE. At intermediate level! Apparently all I need to do is put SAGE on my computer - I thought Sage was a herb? Dear God this could be very bad. What if no one ever gets paid again and I get jailed for stealing company money!? I'm going to need some serious tuition. Hell. As if I haven't enough to do already. Not only am I a full time mummy, but I also juggle 4 jobs - thankfully all from home. Do I really have the time and inclination to be an accountant? I'm trying to be positive - if the school doesn't have a committee and associated team then the school can't run. So it's doing my bit isn't it. Roll on the Christmas Bingo night and the mulled wine.... or is that not a good idea if I'm in charge of the money?

Being a responsible parent!

So I'm here at 7.45pm, trying to watch Eastenders and also trying to get rid of the remnants of supper, trying to get out the door to go to my daughter's school parent committee meeting, and most importantly - writing this! I think it's quite funny that they asked me to be on the 'board' of the committee. I don't do very much but sit in meetings and eat stale biscuits and nod my head when appropriate. But if they didn't have enough parents on the board then the school wouldn't be able to operate - so it's all in a good cause. I never realised that being a parent would bring these types of responsibilities and roles - did you? But I like it - it opens new doors and introduces new faces and friends. It also means I have to trudge out into the winter cold at 8pm when I'd far rather be ensconced on the sofa watching TV. It's been a long day.

Virgin Blogger

This is the very first post on my very first blog. Raise a glass of champagne. I feel as though I've arrived. I'm a fully fledged member of the blogosphere. I quite like it here.

This blog will be a like a classic diary for me. I will try to post a few times a week and try and keep it interesting. I'm a 'stay at home mom', and also work from home. My daughter is 2 and a handful. My husband is 35 and a larger handful. I am easy going, the peace keeper. I'm a Libran and i like things harmonious and relaxed. I strive for it.

I live in the depths of Dorset and I love it here. It is one of the most beautiful places I have known.