Back on an even keel..

Cor... I'm glad January is over, aren't you? No money, crap weather, long month, depression, doom, gloom, recession. Not to mention the emotional issues I've been having this month . However, all's well that ends well. The baby is A OK! Had the test results and 20 week scan and the little devil is right as rain.... and............... it's a girl! I'm so excited! So tick that box.

Work has improved, or rather it has picked up and I should take home a decent pay check this month. I'm working all weekend for an extra £60 which is a pittance, but actually will do a week's shopping, so it's a lot to me.

My husband has gone abroad for a week (YES!!!) so I can slob out, eat junk, watch crap TV, go to bed early, wear my pyjamas all day, gossip to girls all day and generally rebel! Thank God, it feels like I'm on holiday! Actually I miss him now, but I always like these times apart and I know he does too.

The tantrums are still there but not so bad and easier to manage (or just ignore). We have had two uninterrupted night's sleep in succession which is a gift considering the week we have just had with 1. My daughter having a 24 hr tummy bug, cough and ear infection, 2. me getting aforementioned bug and a urinary infection and 3. My husband getting the bug (which naturally hit him hardest of all, poor chap).

So all in all, I'm glad the month is over. May February prove a short, sweet and easy month in comparison. Thank you to God and the good fairies of the world for looking after me and my baby. Let's have a few weeks off from stress now please.

Rough with the smooth

So much for my 2009 positivity. So much for clouds having silver linings. I'm really down in the depths this week. My inspiration has dried up. I'm finding it hard to work or concentrate. I'm losing patience with my toddler daughter and losing my temper too.

I found out this week that my unborn baby might have something wrong with it. Results of screening have put me (or rather my 18 week old unborn baby) at a high risk. It's something I had NEVER thought would happen. Not to me. I'm young (ish), fairly fit and healthy.. I thought I'd be fine. Guess you never know do you. I'm hoping everything will be ok but you have to prepare for the worst don't you. No good pretending everything will be fine if it won't. I've been in hospital and have had some tests done and have to wait now to find out what the results are... which will determine the fate of my little wriggler. God I hope everything will be ok - the odds are stacked in my favour but you can't help feeling that you might be that one statistic.. that 'one' out of however many. What a funny hand life deals you. My last pregnancy was unplanned, unwanted to begin with and extremely stressful. And it was the easiest pregnancy I could have wished for. This one was planned, wanted to badly and has been such a happy time for me up until now. I feel like I have to put my emotions and feelings for the baby on hold until I know if everything will be ok. It's a very surreal time. Motherhood is peppered with highs and lows, new feelings and experiences every day; I really had no idea. I always feel faced with something and this latest bomb is another emotion, another stage to get through, another experience in the scrap book of life. Never what you expect. But I'm a believer in fate and hope that my philosophy will get me through this time. Be grateful for what I have and try to focus on the good things. Hold that thought.

Exciting News!

I'M PREGNANT!!! (mental note to self - do not show this blog to my employees!) Tee hee! Well not until I have a water tight contract anyway.
We had the dating scan yesterday afternoon finally - I say finally because I was supposed to have it a fortnight ago but I have such a ghastly baby brain this time around, that I got the date wrong and missed my slot. I was devastated. Anyway, every cloud has a silver lining, because the baby was 2 weeks bigger and brighter and was in the mood to party yesterday. It waved and squirmed and wriggled and smiled beautifully for the photograph. I was quite overcome with emotion. When I had the first scan with my daughter she was asleep and looked much light a fuzzy black and white baked bean. So I was thrilled to see movement. My husband is convinced it's another girl. I think secretly he had been hoping for a boy.. someone to pass on his craze of motorbikes to.
So I'm 14 weeks today, and starting to show already. I don't think I looked anything other than thick (HATE that word, who invented the hideous expression - 'thickening of the waist'?) until about 5 months last time around. I'm eating for Britain, the Channel Islands and most of Europe. I should theoretically be obese. My boobs are VAST. Looks like it might be a bigger baby this time around. My daughter was a dinky 6lb 5oz. I like small babies though - they stay babies for longer I think.
I'm so excited that I will have two children who will grow up together. Friends for life, partners in crime, soulmates and co-conspirators. I'm already wondering how I will manage to get one child off to school, ballet etc while I have a newborn chomping at my boobs... but I'm sure things will work out fine. Just thought I'd share the news - I've been brimming for 2 months and finally can open the flood gates and tell everyone!