Am I bad?

I was at my local toddler group last week - it's a mainstay of the week's timetable and I love it as much as my daughter. It's a chance for all the village mums to get together and gossip about who is pregnant, who's just had a baby, who's child has got chicken pox, who's child minder has just quit etc. It makes you realise that each and every mother has different issues to deal with on a daily basis. When it comes to childcare issues I count myself so fortunate that I don't have to:

a) pay for childcare
b) depend on it in order to go out to work
c) have to go through the morning and afternoon nightmare of racing to drop kids, collect kids etc.

Do any other mums at home feel the same? I realise that it's an essential part of motherhood for some, if not most mothers, but I couldn't do it. I am blessed to have skills which enable me to work from home. Although I seem to be working and mothering all at once, not to mention being a housewife.... chef... cleaner... maid... chauffer... teacher... entertainer...any others? I love it and wouldn't have it any other way now. Selfishly I like knowing that the money I earn stays in my pocket, and doesn't go straight out into paying for childcare.

However back to toddler group - our lovely lady who runs it also is my daughter's 'teacher' at nursery and she informed me that they would be moving her down to the pre school in January. This is quite early as they usually take them from two and a half or two years, nine months - my daughter was only two in August. I COULD HARDLY SUPRESS MY ELATION!!!!! The thought of three whole clear hours at home twice a week is a GIFT! Does it make me a bad, careless mother to feel this way? I don't feel as though I'm turfing the little maid out of the house, unloved and unwanted. I know she will relish in the time spent with her little friends - and to be honest a 9am-12pm slot at pre school is far more convenient than the 1.30-3.15pm I already take her to.

As a working from home mother, these mornings could add up to some really valuable and precious, uninterrupted work time... although I will have to live one dream first - I'm taking my laptop to the local deli/coffee shop, I'm going to order a large coffee and eggs benedict and abuse the wifi. For work purposes only. Honest.

Wet and windy weekend

Well what a washout. What do you do when you're tired, got a hyper active 2 year old at home, and it's pouring with rain and blowing a hooley? It's been one of those weekends. We are blessed to have a large sitting room and so we made an exciting indoor play den with bean bags, cushions, duvets etc. It was hilarious actually. I wasn't feeling very well - tired and feeling quite queasy so I just chilled on the sofa - I managed to watch Harry Potter, Daylight and Midsomer Murders back to back. Must be a record. I dont' think I've watched that much TV since giving birth! Indulgent as it was, I loved it! And feel much better today.

I'm still nervous about my Treasurer position for a number of reasons. I'll go into it at a later date. I seem to have a lot on my hands at the moment and no let up during the day, and usually so tired in the evenings... plus I try to keep my evenings to be with my husband and have some together time. If we don't spend time together we drift apart so it's important to work hard at the marriage too. It's hard to keep things in balance and I always strive to try and keep everything on an even keel, but it's a constant struggle.

Got lots to look forward to though - going hunting (apologies to you who may be anti, but we only follow a trail) next Saturday. Hoping to see Bond tomorrow night - my belated birthday treat from James... I wonder if it'll happen!? Ever the pessimist! I might treat myself to an eyelash tint this week too - I look like an albino. Hideous.